In-depth no 1 – Psychology of pain

Posted: April 14, 2016 in Daily Posts
Does Mistress detect these wide variations in sensitivity exist, as they punish their clients?

Do they get to know the pain map of each of their clients?

Do some Mistresses (though probably not Mistress M) respond to this problem by a rather general softly-softly approach? Unfortunately, that may not really help the client. If I leave a session without having suffered any noticeable pain, I feel the ache of unfulfilment deep in the pit of my stomach. And that hurts!

The psychology of pain is a HUGE topic and I’ll try to stay within the context of sessions.

Learning pains levels of each sub/slave (for the sake of shortness I’ll refer to all my ‘clients’ as subs) is a big part of the professional relationship. And it takes a bit of time. Something some subs don’t understand.

So a good example :

New sub comes to see me for primarily electrics. I know he’s done it before, a lot, so I expect certain reactions. However, he is a stoic chap and the more I wind it up, the more he grits his teeth and stays silent. Not a squeak or a burp or a fart or anything. I have told him he can make noise, I like it, he can be as loud as he likes.

Umm…now, I can’t read minds. I watch his body language, I try to gauge when he’s at the top end of his spectrum. His body is enjoying it, he’s hard and his cock is waving around like a psychotic flagpole in the wind, but he refuses to make a sound.

So yes, I am going softly, softly, but I have no real choice.

If I just wound it up till he screamed the damn place down and expired on me I’d lose a lot of clients. It’s sensory play, not out and out pain I am trying to achieve. No one likes out and out pain, however much a masochist.

We finish the session and the first thing he says is ‘I could’ve taken more’. My shoulders slump. I reply, ‘I’m sure you could, but it’s hard to judge someones enjoyment of electrics when you are silent.’

‘Oh’ he says.

So, it ends up being an unfulfilled session, due to his ‘toughness’.

But we discuss this and I say I’d be happy to see him again.

Now when he came back, he was more vocal, I could then gauge more. I could also hood him and gag him (which he likes), which I couldn’t do before as I needed to see his face.

The next session was an improvement. He felt more pushed, I felt I pushed him hard.

However, usually they don’t come back a second time.

So my first point is, I cannot read minds and to gauge your pain threshold I need to hear and see and feel you reacting to pain. So bear that in mind when you see someone for the first time.

Once I have your levels sussed out (and I should say I make notes after each session ie the levels I reach on he electrostim, or the cane I used or the clamps so I can refer to these things for the next session. ) then I can push those levels.

So in short, I think you need at least 2 sessions with a Mistress to work out if you are going to suit each other. It takes time to map someone for their pain levels. Plus learn their desires and other types of play that make them tick.

Pain play features in pretty much all play to a greater or lesser degree, even if it’s rope bondage where you are restricted and held tight, or with watersports where piss in the eyes is pretty uncomfy for a few minutes.

But the pain can be gentle, subtle, outright nasty and tempered to the level need for the sub and then circumstances.


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