Nervousness…a sub’s view.

Posted: October 19, 2012 in Daily Posts
Tags: ,

I often have subs who want to book with me, but are so nervous or apprehensive about sessioning, finding the whole experience too overwhelming to go through with even though they are dying so see a Mistress.
So I thought I’d ask a sub who has seen me before and has a lovely turn of phrase to write down his experiences.

Visiting a Mistress, and then going through to the dungeon/playroom and going through with all those activities you’ve dreamed of can be a tremendous feeling, and a lovely release, if also a little nerve wracking. But it doesn’t start when you knock on Mistresses door, no it starts long before that, even before making the booking for a session, it starts when you are trying to find your Mistress.

Perhaps you are thinking of visiting a New mistress, or maybe visiting one for the first time. Then if you are the following account of my first visit to Mistress Mephisto may be of help to you.

I had spent quite a while looking at many web sites trying to choose a Mistress. I’m not new to this, but have had a break from sessioning. I used my experience of being taken in by flash looking sites with lots of posed pictures but no real substance. No I read those sites very carefully trying to get into the mind of Mistress, trying to find if we were compatible.

After much deliberation I chose the one I liked, someone who truly believes in controlling her subs, and as I’m very into surrendering control, this was the one for me, Mistress Mephisto.

First contact by email, which took me a short while to pluck up courage, I put a bit of detail about myself, not too much, but enough I thought to let Mistress know a little about me. I didn’t have long to wait for a reply, and then the excitement of a few email exchanges, telling Mistress what she wanted to know, my likes dislikes etc. Mistresses replies making me more and more convinced that I had chosen well, choosing my words to convey my likes and dislikes to her without trying to dictate things too much. Very quickly a three hour appointment was set up for two weeks later, and now the build up begins.

As soon as the date was set, the nerves begin. Not terror, nor fear but trepidation, the wondering in your mind of what Mistress is really like, would I behave well on the day. No these nerves were more like the feeling one would get before making a bungee jump, you want to do it, but in order to do it you have to step into the unknown.

As the days passed I kept thinking about the upcoming session, thoughts kept shooting through my mind. Lets be honest I kept getting turned on, at the same time as feeling a little nervous. I think the nerves were driving my libido into overdrive, but at the same time it was a nice feeling. Truth be told every night on the way home My mind would go into overdrive thinking about the upcoming session and by the time I got home there was an aching in my groin. Every night I would log on to Mistress Mephisto’s website and read it again stare at the pictures and get uncontrollably turned on. However a quick bit of self relief and I would calm down, looking at the web site I was in control, and I could do something about that aching down below, but on the day of the session that would all be in Mistresses control.

A quick email to Mistress one week before the session made me feel better, but her reply telling me that she was pleased with the effect that thoughts of her was having on me pleased her and then telling me that she was looking forward to it, and was thinking up lots of things to do just ramped it up. More nerves, more excitement. I suppose a cross between a kid looking forward to Christmas, and waiting outside the headmasters office when your in trouble. Who would have thought that a few butterflies in my stomach would make me feel so excited.

The last week was also spent thinking about how I would present myself to Mistress, how I wanted to try and give her a favourable first impression, so set about preparing that.

The day before and the excited nerves are getting so great I think I might explode. I calm myself by preparing myself, thinking about what to wear, grooming myself etc. One quick email to Mistress, and one back from her confirming the procedure and then off to bed.

Next morning, up bright and early nerves now about making sure I get there on time and follow Mistresses requests. I set off early and I have to text confirmation to her by 8.00am. The plan is to stop at the motorway services and text, this then gives me loads of time to get there.

Texting done I carry on, my body tingling in nervous anticipation. I arrive and park where asked too. The session is for 10.00am, and it’s not yet 9.00am, but I was so excited I got there so early. I familiarise myself with the area and then go for a coffee. I try to read the paper, but I’m so on edge. Feelings of excitement, coupled with nervous anticipation, time ticking by oh so slowly. It was like I had got the first five lottery numbers up and the machine broke down as I was waiting for the sixth number. ( I still remember my first ever visit to a Mistress with total clarity. It was Monday 7th July 1997, to Mistress Maggie of Preston. The nerves etc where all the same, and I got there three hours early, and ended up driving around going to McDonalds, and god knows what else).

I’m back at 9.30 and my stomach feels numb, my legs weak, my nerves on edge. I’ve already typed the text in and have only to press send, the minutes pass by slowly, but I’m really excited as I’m actually there. I send my text at 9.45 to and wait for the reply to come up. The fifteen minutes waiting for the reply seem an age, minutes seem like hours. I am desperate to go up to the dungeon, but also shaking in anticipation. After what seems like an age my phone beeps “come up” is the message.

I get out of the car, thinking this is it, and start to walk up the road. Finding the house I enter via the gate as dictated down the garden and up the long flight of steps to the dungeon. My feet are heavy but my heart and mind excited. It’s like I’ve climbed Everest using every last ounce of my strength and there are just twenty or so more steps. Excitement wells up inside me as I reach the door. I knock and wait as instructed, as as I hear those words “come in” I jump.

I open the door and step in, my eyes met by the site of all that equipment, and there in the middle Mistress Mephisto, looking stunning in her red blouse, black leather skirt, black stockings and new high heeled shoes. “Hello slave” says Mistress Mephisto, and I reply “Hello Mistress.” Now the nerves are dropping away and the expectation is growing. I glance around the room looking at everything and trying to take it all in. I also furtively look Mistress Mephisto up and down trying not to let her notice me doing it. Admiring her presence, so much better in the flesh than in a photo.

After a few words confirming what we had discussed by email Mistress gives me a little smile and leads me out to the lobby where I am told to undress and present myself to her in the dungeon. I enter naked and Mistress looks me up and down. “OK come here she says”, and there I am naked and giving full control to Mistress. I step forward and as the session is about to begin, all nerves are gone, I’m in that special place, where I want to be. Now that the big day is here, I’m that kid who waited for Christmas to come and now it’s here, I wonder what Mistress Mephisto has got for me?

So why do I put myself through all that. Well it just makes the whole day that special. Would I rather it didn’t happen? No, without it I might just as well be visiting the dentist (although my dentist is quite sexy actually). No this is a special day, and it deserves a big build up. The pre session nerves, the anxious anticipation are so much part of the session. The session itself well that’s the icing on the cake, but such special icing.

So if your worried about making that first booking, don’t let nerves put you off, let them be a big part of that session too. Enjoy it, it really is worth it, and fulfil that desire. Anything you are unsure of just ask Mistress, she’s not a monster, she wants you to enjoy it as much as her, so she’ll reassure you, although she know just what to say to get you excited. Go on climb your Everest, it’s Christmas day up there.

Postscript. My second session with Mistress Mephisto is in two weeks, and yes the nervous anticipation is starting again. This ones for four hours, and I think I may be in a little trouble with her when she’s read a couple of the things I’ve put in here.

A nervous, but happy sub.

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