Service Top v Dominant 30th Nov 2011

Posted: November 30, 2011 in Uncategorized

While the rest of the country is on strike today….some of us are going to try to be constructive. (and some of us will never have huge pensions, get sick pay or a whole raft of other work based benefits!!!)

I recently turned down a request for a session, due to the fact the person requesting it was looking for more of a ‘service top’ than a dominant. After pointing this out, and explaining, as politely as I could, he still flounced off in a huff. Oh well, I thought, never mind. But did wonder if I had not explained myself well enough.
The differences are subtle and are more to do with attitude often more than substance, and perhaps a few instances would help to clarify things.
Service tops in my opinion are generally a Dom/me or a Top who will do exactly as you want, to your level and no more. They have responsibility for the person they are playing with at the time and for after-care after play, but that is it.
They tend not to push the person they play with, provide exactly the level of play they require ie to a certain threshold, number of strokes or number on a dial.
Usually it’s an experienced sub/bottom who uses a Service Top as they know the level they require, where as a new sub or bottom tends to rely more on a Dom/me to help them learn.
I have done a few sessions professionally as a Service Top at the beginning of my pro career and at the time did not realise that I was! It’s very easy to want to please! I don’t find them enjoyable and really dislike begging dictated to as to what to do.
The differences to me are : I may ask you what you like and enjoy, and also what are your hard limits are, but then the choices are mine to make as to what activities we actually do.
Obviously if I choose to do everything the sub hates, you’re unlikely to come back to me, so I need to combine a good mixture. BUT the whole point of ‘submission’ is you let me choose, hope I get it right, and TRUST me that I will do so.
This is where the TPE or Total Power Exchange comes in. Just handing over the fee and giving me a list of your wants is easy and boring.
Handing over the fee and trusting I take you on the sensual ride of you life for a couple of hours is a bit more fun!
You may enjoy wax play, and that’s all well and good for a few drops on your nipples or along your cock, but if I have you positioned correctly, you’ll get enough to cover your nipples completely, drops along and down the end of your cock and oh, a smattering on that tender little arsehole of yours too. Enough to make you moan, squeal and beg for me to stop!
Or you love bondage and have been tied up many times before, which is dandy. But my idea of bondage is tight, hard, unmovable, perhaps with a hood or a blindfold, and usually means a sub ends up in a position, with enough interesting bits hanging out that are slappable with a crop. Much more fun…..
So it’s degrees of play. Of course the sub could ask the Service Top to tie him in a such a way he ends up in the above position, but that was him asking, and not my choice. A big difference. He still holds the balance of power because he has asked, not relinquished control to me and LET me do as I wish.
It is no surprise at all that the vast majority of serious submissive’s I see are chaps in high powered jobs, sole decision makers, positions of pressured situation for long periods.
TPE and Domination allows that person for a short period of time, in a safe and carefully controlled environment to hand over control. To give the choice making to another person and to be able to empty their heads of all the stress and chaos they have to control 24/7.
Service Topping is simply requesting play on your own terms.

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